


every inch of me is there to trace

by colourmeblue



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Exes, F/F, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 11:37:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colourmeblue/pseuds/colourmeblue
Summary: Maggie contemplates Chinese food, beer and Netflix as her evening plan. The proximity to her previous life requires a distraction that only alcohol can achieve. Her mind does flash to Alex, though. What she’s doing tonight. How easy it would be to just call her. Or even see her, if she still lives at the same apartment. However, she’s immediately turned away from that idea at the thought of someone else answering the phone or the door.(or, the exes AU)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is an exes AU that isn’t really an AU because it’s literally the same universe. Anyway. I just wanted to write an exes thing that wouldn’t be bitter or toxic or super sad because why bother writing sad things? Truly. Everyone’s paired up too so that’s nice. Basically everything is canon up until the proposal, which doesn't happen here.
> 
> This fic features side Karolsen and Reigncorp, so if you don't like it, I'd say you should move along now.

It only takes five minutes of Maggie being back in National City for it to feel like an entirely new world.

Normally, it wouldn’t take her long to accept a job that she both loves and is good at. But this has always been more complicated than just a simple job. At the same time though, she’s never let an ex stop her from doing what she loves before. The only difference is: Alex has never been just another ex. Still, the deadline had been nearing, and before Maggie knew it, she was returning the phone call and taking the job. 

It’s slightly better pay than last time, and she’s worked hard in the two years she’s been gone. She deserves this. She can’t let a little fear get in the way.

It’s a city. An incredibly large city. But with a huge presence like Supergirl, wherever there’s trouble, she’s going to run into her. And where she runs into Kara, she runs into the DEO. Which not only means Alex, but every single other person she knew once upon a time. She hasn’t kept up with their lives since moving away. It’s just another reminder of everything she could’ve had and been a part of.

Maggie has no idea what to expect by throwing herself back into National City’s police department, but she’s about to find out in full force. She promised herself that she’d focus primarily on work, because not only is it a great distraction, but she’s missed out on two years worth of alien attacks. Sure, she’s seen Supergirl on the news sometimes from across the country, but Gotham had its own high level of crime to deal with. Plus, she’s really been trying the whole ‘out of sight, out of mind’ thing.

As she drops her bag on the floor of her new apartment, she lets herself fall onto the couch. The other half of her furniture still needs to be delivered, and the room feels quiet and empty. It’s not the same as when she was living at Alex’s, where she always had a warm body beside her. Still, it’s a nice apartment, much nicer than her one in Gotham, and she can see herself settling here. National City felt like home more than Gotham ever did.

Maggie contemplates Chinese food, beer and Netflix as her evening plan. The proximity to her previous life requires a distraction that only alcohol can achieve. Her mind does flash to Alex, though. What she’s doing tonight. How easy it would be to just call her. Or even  _ see  _ her, if she still lives at the same apartment. However, she’s immediately turned away from that idea at the thought of someone else answering the phone or the door.

Maybe it’ll be fine. Maybe she won’t even need to see Alex at all.

It’s a naive thought. She knows that.

Besides, her curiosity will get the best of her eventually.

She’s alone for the whole evening, and even though she’s used to this scenario, there’s something off about it. She didn’t have this feeling in Gotham, sitting alone in her apartment night after night. There’s something that tells her she should be with friends. With the people she loves. Except those people don’t exist anymore, and she’s left with what she  _ should _ be feeling.

Her phone is sitting right there. She could call. She could, but she won’t. She’s not going to impose on a life where she doesn’t fit anymore.

Instead, Maggie lets Netflix numb her brain for a while. Hopefully work keeps her as busy as it did the last time she was here. So much so that she lost girlfriends because of it. She  _ needs _ to be that level of busy. Eventually, this feeling will pass. She’s sure of it. 

She continues watching until she’s completely exhausted. She doesn’t want to be up half the night overthinking, especially when she has to drop into work tomorrow.

Unfortunately, Maggie can’t escape. Not even in her sleep.

As she sleeps, she dreams. There’s Alex and herself. Flashes and bits and pieces. She hasn’t dreamed of Alex in a few months, but she’s so welcome. It’s a safe space in her mind, and it’s so warm. Maggie knows that the Alex in her dreams isn’t representative of the real Alex, because the version in her head is outdated by two whole years. She’s probably grown in so many ways. Ways that she’ll never be able to understand until she sees her again. Still, Maggie knows she’d love every single piece of her all the same.

Maggie wakes the next morning even more tired than the night before. Thankfully, she doesn’t actually have to  _ work _ today, only go in and get everything finalized. Meet some people. The usual rigmarole. National City doesn’t need sleepy Sawyer attempting to protect and serve today.

As she gets dressed, she pays attention the few scars she gathered last time she was in National City. They’re not noticeable unless someone is up close, but they’re still rough to the touch, even after two years. It’s not the scars themselves that bother her, it’s what they led to. However, they don’t affect her as much as they used to. They’re a part of a life she hasn’t led for a while now. 

She walks into her old precinct and it’s exactly the same as she left it, aside from a new coat of paint. She recognises a few familiar faces - coworkers she used to share cases with - and she gives each of them a bright smile and a quick hello as she passes. She’ll have time to get reacquainted later. Generally, she doesn’t have much trouble adjusting to a new precinct, but she’s almost excited to get back to this one. She knows and trusts these people, and she knows they’re more than capable of handling the out-of-the-ordinary things thrown their way in this city.

Despite personal reasons that keep her reluctant, she feels like this is the right place for her career-wise. Maybe she can even continue to climb the ladder within the Science Division. To be able to do that in a city with such a large alien population would be quite the feat. To have some control of the way the NCPD views and treats aliens would be a dream for her. 

Still, she’s always afraid of falling into old habits. Ones that would once again throw her right back into Alex’s life. Then again, it’s not like she hasn’t self-sabotaged before.

\------

Maggie should have known that she wouldn’t really get the chance to sabotage herself.

Her first week back on the job, Maggie’s assigned to a crime scene that Supergirl is already waiting at. She knew it would happen sooner or later, but she had been selfishly hoping for more time. She and Kara were never particularly close, but she knows she’s not going to be able to hide any longer when she sees her.

When Kara  _ does _ see her, her eyes almost pop out of her skull. However, she manages to keep her cool around Maggie’s colleagues until the work is done and they’re finally alone. Kara looks exactly the same, which makes sense because of her Kryptonian physiology. Still, it makes Maggie feel like no time has passed since the last time she saw her.

It’s a little awkward at first, because Maggie really doesn’t know what to say. Then again, she doesn’t owe anyone anything. Alex is the one who broke up with her. She had no obligation to stick around to have her heart broken even further. She didn’t do the wrong thing by taking a job in Gotham. She’s sure under normal circumstances, the two of them would be warmer towards each other, but they both have the same thought on their mind.

“You know I’m not going to keep this from her, right?” Kara avoids her gaze at first, almost as if she’s ashamed about ratting her out, but Maggie understands. The last thing she wants to do is cause trouble while she’s here. 

Maggie shakes her head. “I don’t expect you to.” She can’t hide from her forever anyway. It’s not exactly something she wants, but it comes with the job. She has to be professional. She doesn’t want to be the person who actively avoids her ex, but Alex is different. She knows as soon as she sees her, that familiar feeling will spread throughout her entire body again.

Kara’s looking at her now, and her eyes are filled with pity more than anything else. Maggie hates it.

Maggie sighs. “Look, I’m just here for my job. I’m not expecting anything from anyone.” The last thing she wants Kara to think is that she’s going to hang all over her begging for Alex’s forgiveness. Hell, there’s nothing to forgive. Maggie’s a grown woman, and has always dealt with her own problems. She doesn’t want anyone to think that she’s pissed about something that happened two years ago. She’s better than that.

“I’m sure… I mean, she’ll probably want to see you, Maggie.” Kara’s careful with her words, like Maggie’s going to snap at her for saying it.

Maggie’s first thought is ‘Why?’, but then she remembers this is Alex they’re talking about. Someone who never wanted to do anything to hurt Maggie, and only ever wanted what was best for her. “Yeah, well…” She was hoping for more time to settle in before she was bombarded with this all over again. That’s what she gets for taking a job in the exact same division she left. “I don’t know if it’s the right time.”

Kara nods, and seems wary to say anything else. Maggie doesn’t blame her.

“As long as she’s okay,” Maggie adds, looking back up at Kara again. That’s something she absolutely  _ has  _ to know. Despite not being apologetic about leaving, she would feel guilty about leaving Alex only for her to never recover from the break up.

“Yeah… Yeah, she’s good.” Kara even gives her a brief smile for good measure. “I promise.”

“Okay.” Maggie nods, letting out a breath. It reminds her that she hasn’t known anything about Alex for two whole years. It’s comforting to have some good news. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Kara opens her mouth as if she wants to say something else, but closes it again just as quickly. Maggie’s almost glad, because she’s not sure she’ll be able to handle any more surprises today.

Once she gets in her car to go back to the precinct, she feels the weight immediately settling deep in her chest. There’s no escaping this feeling. There’s no escaping  _ Alex _ . No matter what she does. She almost wants to regret her decision to return to National City, but she reminds herself that she’s not turning her life upside down for an ex-girlfriend. Not again. 

She can do this. She can.

Maybe.


	2. One

“I told her I wasn’t going to keep it from you.” Kara shakes her head. She seems just as shocked as Alex feels by the whole thing, but at the moment, her words are going right over Alex’s head. “I mean, how _could_ I keep it from you? It’s _Maggie_.”

It’s not that Alex isn’t listening to her, but it’s just taking her a moment to wrap her head around what she’s hearing. She feels like she’s in a dream, and whether it’s a good or bad one remains to be seen. There’s so much left unresolved with Maggie, and as much as she wanted to reach out a long time ago, she thought it best to give her space in the end. It wouldn’t have been fair to continue dragging her back into Alex’s life.

The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt Maggie, but that’s all she ended up doing.

Now, knowing she’s back in town, Alex is going to be playing the anxious waiting game. Eventually they’re going to run into each other. With their jobs, there’s no doubt about it. Truthfully, she’d much rather speak to Maggie on her own terms, rather than it be awkward at a crime scene. That’s assuming Maggie even _wants_ to talk to her.

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Alex gives her a weak smile, even if she feels completely sick to the stomach. Sure, it’s a big city with plenty of places to hide, but just knowing that Maggie’s here is enough to tie her up in knots.

The look of concern on Kara’s face doesn’t help matters. “Are you okay?” She sighs, placing a hand on her back. “You know what? Stupid question. Of course you’re not.” She adjusts herself so that her feet are tucked underneath her on the couch, and she tries her best to catch Alex’s gaze.

Alex laughs quietly, shaking her head. “God, I bet she was really happy to see you.”

Kara scoffs. “Oh, yeah. She was _thrilled_ to see her ex's sister her first week back on the job.”

Frowning, Alex turns to Kara again. “Did she seem… okay?”

Kara chews on her lower lip, and Alex can tell it’s to stop a smile that’s threatening to break free. “You know, she asked the same thing about you. She still cares about you, you know.”

Alex rolls her eyes. “That’s not what I was implying. She just- She went through a lot when she was here. When she was with me. I just want her to be okay.”

Kara adjusts her position again. “Maybe _you_ should ask her that yourself.”

Alex lets out a bitter laugh. “She doesn’t want anything to do with me, Kara. And she shouldn’t. Not after what I put her through. Besides, things have changed since then. You don’t know how she feels anymore.”

“ _You_ don’t know that, Alex.” Kara shakes her head. “I honestly don’t think it’s possible for Maggie to ever hate you.” Alex gives her a look, and Kara smiles. “Sure, maybe things have changed and you’re different people now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t reach out. You never know, she might even surprise you.”

Alex gives her sister a soft frown - something that’s usually reserved for when Kara’s right about something. Which Alex would say isn’t very often, but Kara can offer little gems of wisdom from time to time. “After everything I put her through… She doesn’t deserve to have all of that brought to the surface again.”

“You were doing what you thought was right at the time.” Kara gives her a sympathetic smile. “A horrible thing happened and you were just trying to protect everyone. The way you _always_ do.”

Alex runs a hand through her hair, struggling with knowing that she _wants_ to see Maggie, with worrying about being completely shot down by her. How is it that she’s not scared of giant aliens that want to destroy the world, but she’s afraid of being rejected by her ex-girlfriend?

“Look, I know this isn’t something you want to hear, but… your first love is important. Whether you want to admit it or not. Look at me and James. I mean, we’re getting _married_.” A wide grin appears on Kara’s face as she says it. “I’m not saying you and Maggie are going to get back together, but I know firsthand that letting go of that person isn’t easy, and sometimes it’s better to keep them in your life if you get a second chance.”

Alex can’t help but smile. “Look at you being the big sister right now.”

Kara laughs, elbowing her lightly in the side. “You have spent almost half your life looking after me. Let me do something for you for a change.”

Alex had taken a chance on Maggie once upon a time and it had turned into the best year of her life. Although things are a lot different this time around, she wonders if she’s going to have the privilege of being in her life again. Despite being completely blindsided by the news that Maggie is back in National City, a small part of Alex wonders if she will get the chance to make things right with her again. Like Kara had said, Maggie _was_ her first love.

“What do you have to lose? If it goes badly, you know I’ll be right here for you.” Kara’s expression becomes serious once more, clearly trying to read her expression.

Alex sighs. “No, you’re right.” It’s unlike her to be a coward, but then again, she’s almost forgotten what it’s like to be in Maggie’s presence again. Just the thought is allowing nerves to bubble up that she thought had gone away for good.

Kara suddenly looks interested, as if she wasn’t believing that Alex would actually agree. “So you’re going to talk to her?”

Alex looks away for a moment, contemplating it. Maggie deserves more than to just run into her awkwardly at a crime scene. “I can try. I _should_. The last thing she deserves is to be ignored.”

Kara only nods. Not that Alex needed much pushing anyway, because she knew that deep down, her curiosity was going to get the better of her eventually. She couldn’t allow herself to agonize over Maggie when she’s now in the city and within her grasp once more. All it comes down to is if Maggie will allow her that opportunity.

It takes a moment of silence, but Kara eventually does eventually turn the tide of the conversation. “As long as you don’t let this interfere with your Maid of Honor duties.”

Alex rolls her eyes, grabbing the pillow and shoving it at Kara. “As if you’d _ever_ let me get distracted from that.” Granted, the wedding will be a good distraction if this goes badly. “All you have to worry about is getting married - and saving the world from time to time.”

Kara laughs lightly. “Yeah, and _that_.”

Smiling, Alex moves in closer to her sister. If she says any more, she has a feeling she might change her mind about Maggie, and she’s definitely not the type to back down from her word.

\------

It takes a week for Alex to pluck up the courage to message Maggie. She’d tell Kara that it’s because she’s been busy with work, except Maggie has been on her mind ever since Kara told her she was back. It’s consumed her life, to the point where if she _doesn’t_ do something about it, she’s sure that it will start affecting her work.

She contemplates calling her, but if she’s being honest, she isn’t sure if Maggie is going to respond warmly to her at all. Which she deserves, she knows that. She’ll take that blame if it means keeping Maggie safe the way she said she would. Still, there didn’t seem to be any animosity between Kara and Maggie when they met at the crime scene. It’s probably wishful thinking for Maggie to be over everything that happened between them.

Once she finally sends the message, Alex is both relieved and concerned. It’s a lot more formal than what she’s used to, and there’s nothing worse than letting the other person know you’re nervous. At least, in Alex’s experience. Still, she’s surprised when she receives a response from her, and their plans are seemingly all set in a matter of minutes.

Alex finds herself slightly shaky as she gets ready. She decides to head to the bar early. Maybe if she gets a few drinks in her before Maggie arrives, she’ll feel a little less nauseous about the whole thing.

\------

When Maggie receives the message, she almost falls off her chair. She’d buried herself in work since her return to National City, and sure, a lot of her off-moments were spent thinking about Alex, but she hadn’t been expecting this. If she’s being honest, it’s very bold of Alex to put herself out there and make the first move. Maggie has to admit that she admires it. It’s gutsy.

Still, it takes her the entire day to come up with a reply. The message is direct, asking if she wants to meet up at the alien bar for drinks. She wonders if Alex still regularly attends the alien bar, or she’s just choosing that location because it’s known to them both. Even if she isn’t sure about meeting back up with Alex again, Maggie has to admit that she’s curious about how it’ll go.

She’s curious about _Alex_. Even if the more rational part of her brain is telling her that she should wait it out. That she should spend time preparing herself before jumping right into the deep end.

Except, this is the one time she knows she doesn’t have to think before she leaps.

True to her word, Maggie replies without even thinking about it. Immediately, she locks her phone and places it on her desk face down, just in case she changes her mind. Alex only replies with a quick _‘See you then’_ and Maggie thinks about those three words for the rest of the day.

She’s not the kind of person to overthink, but again, Alex tends to bring out behaviour in her that she’s not used to. Especially when it’s an ex from two years ago that she may or may not still love. Except, that’s not something she’s going to think about. Not until she’s standing in front of her, at least.

\------

The second Maggie finally sees her at the bar, it’s like the past two years became a distant memory. All the reasons why the break up occurred, the reasons why she left the city… they don’t seem tangible anymore. For a brief moment, she just stops. She can’t help it. She doesn't exactly see a lot of her exes after the relationship has dissolved, and to make matters worse, she doesn’t remember anything being as intense as her feelings for Alex. Somehow, they didn’t fade. No matter how long they spent apart or the distance between them.

However, something Maggie _is_ good at, is not letting those feelings show.

The first thing she notices is Alex’s hair. It’s a little more auburn than it used to be, but Maggie recognises it instantly. She’s always sure she’d be able to recognise Alex. She’s always able to spot her first in a crowd, and there’s always going to be a part of her that’s drawn to Alex. Maggie also notices she looks stronger. Physically, but also in the way that she carries herself. She can tell Alex is more confident in herself as a person just by looking at her.

The one thing Maggie notices most of all is the feeling she gets when she looks at her. It’s so familiar — an ache and longing she hasn’t felt in such a long time. This is what she’d been afraid of when she chose to come here. She knew she’d feel this way. She knew Alex would immediately suck her back in, and she hasn’t even looked at her yet.

Maggie lingers in the doorway, and normally she’d try her best not to stare, but she’s unable to help it. To top everything off, she looks great. Even if all she’s wearing is a jacket and jeans. Before she gets the chance to take a step inside, Alex spots her.

Maggie’s spent a lot of time thinking about this moment over the past two years. What it would be like when she finally saw Alex again. _If_ she ever saw her again. She would play out different scenarios in her head, ranging from happy to sad to angry. In every single one she feels exactly the same. Like seeing her again was replacing a missing puzzle piece that had been gone for so long.

What she isn’t expecting though, is the smile that immediately appears on Alex’s face. The one she knows and loves. The way her eyes light up as soon as they land on her. It’s the way Alex used to look at her whenever she’d walk in a room. It makes Maggie stop for a moment, and she realises that Alex has somehow completely thrown her off her game. It’s almost amusing to her, because it used to be the other way around.

“Maggie!”

Even her voice is enough to make Maggie’s body tense for a brief moment. It’s certainly more enthusiastic than Maggie had been expecting. There are too many emotions flooding back at once, and she can’t keep them all in check. Alex is halfway out of her seat and walking over to her before she has time to process it. She’s even more beautiful up close, and Maggie feels any negative feelings she had about the break up just melting away in her presence.

Maggie finally lets herself smile. It’s brief, but bright. The two of them standing together in the middle of the alien bar seems reminiscent of old times, and it’s such a comfort for Maggie to be here again. Especially knowing that Alex still comes here even long after Maggie introduced her to the place.

The first thing that Maggie notices is that Alex isn’t sober, and the brief smile that was once on her face grows again. “I see you started without me.” Maybe it’s the alcohol that’s making her so friendly, and not _Alex_ herself. Maggie has a feeling they’re not going to be getting any actual serious talking done tonight.

“Uh, yeah.” Alex smiles sheepishly, and that’s when Maggie knows she’s right. “Honestly I... wasn’t expecting you to show up.”

Maggie nods, finally taking a moment to look away from Alex and take a breath. It’s so surreal to be standing in front of her again. “Yeah, me either.” Truthfully, it was spur of the moment more than anything else. She wasn’t one hundred percent set on it until she was halfway out the door. Still, no matter how the night ends, it’s been worth it just to see Alex’s face again.

Alex looks at her for a little longer before turning back to where she was previously sitting. She orders shots from the bartender and Maggie stands there for a moment, unsure of what to do. Alex isn’t looking at her, and Maggie isn’t looking at Alex, and she’s really not sure how they’re going to survive the night.

Alex doesn’t speak again until her shot is placed in front of her. Once she downs it, Maggie can see the relief cross her face. Maggie’s not going to act like she didn’t spend many nights curled up with a bottle of scotch on the couch after their break up. As long as it stays civil between them, she doesn’t see why Alex shouldn’t be able to drink. She doesn’t exactly count this as a formal meeting anyway.

Alex swallows, and she’s still not looking directly at Maggie. “I didn’t think you’d want to come back here at all.”

It’s the first words to really hit Maggie directly in the chest. It practically forces her to look at Alex, and for a moment, it’s like she never left in the first place. It’s like she’s sitting in the bar with her girlfriend and no time has passed. She doesn’t realise how hard it would be to remind herself that Alex is no longer her girlfriend.

Maggie’s pretty sure she doesn’t want to get into this right now. Not while Alex has been drinking, and definitely not when this is the first time she has seen Alex in two whole years. “I didn’t plan to.” She shrugs, her fingers tapping her own glass. Suddenly, she feels far too exposed here. Something that would’ve caused her to run in the past. “But it was a great job offer. Turning it down would’ve been stupid.”

Alex nods quickly. “No, you’re right, of course.” Clearing her throat, she turns towards the bartender again and orders two more shots.

Maggie narrows her eyes, looking between Alex and the bartender. She recognises this behaviour, and things are suddenly starting to click into place for Maggie. “Hey, hang on.” Without thinking, she reaches over and places a hand on Alex’s arm. She doesn’t even notice that she’s doing anything unusual until she sees Alex finally look at her. They lock eyes for just a split second, and it’s like Maggie can suddenly feel everything that Alex is feeling.

Looking at her with concern, Maggie realises this really isn’t the best time for them to be doing this, and that maybe Alex isn’t ready at all. “Let’s just... slow down for a second.” She stops for a minute, studying the woman in front of her who looks like she’d rather be anywhere else than here. “Maybe I should take you home.” It’s a gentle suggestion, and a small shrug follows. She doesn’t want to force Alex to do something she doesn’t want to, _especially_ if it involves spending more time with her while she’s emotionally vulnerable, but Maggie just wants to help. She didn’t realise just how much seeing her again would affect Alex.

Alex doesn’t look at her when she speaks, which Maggie knows immediately that she’s ashamed by the words that come out of her mouth. “I didn’t want it to be like this.”

Maggie can’t help but give her a kind smile. “It’s okay. And it’s okay if you’re not ready.” She looks at Alex intently, hoping she’ll turn her head and catch her gaze. “Alex, I’m not going anywhere. We don’t have to rush to see each other again.” It’s not like she would outright ignore Alex if she ever ran into her at a crime scene. Sure, it may be awkward in front of their colleagues, but it’s clear that Alex had a lot riding on seeing her for the first time. “It’s going to take time… for both of us.”

Alex only nods, because she’s never been much of a talker when she feels overwhelmed with emotion. They’re both alike in that way. It’s a miracle they lasted as long as they did when they were together because of that fact.

“So, can I take you home?” Maggie’s still smiling, and it almost feels foreign to her. If she’s being honest, she wasn’t expecting to be smiling in Alex’s presence after all the mixed emotions she’s had about her over the years. “I don’t feel right just leaving you here.”

Alex seems embarrassed, and Maggie only wants her to feel at ease in her presence. It’s not the simplest thing to ask, because Maggie’s heart is still pounding just at seeing her again. It seems like Alex is going to answer her, but in the end, she doesn’t. However, that doesn’t stop Maggie.

“Come on.” Maggie smiles, hopping off her stool and standing beside her. “You can make it up to me some other time.”

It clearly doesn’t take long for her to fall back into the old habit of looking after Alex. Not that she needed to look after her often, but it feels natural to be doing it now. She’s just glad it doesn’t take much convincing for Alex to get up off her stool to follow her.

\------

“Did I tell you that Kara and James are getting married?”

At first, Maggie is too absorbed in returning to Alex’s apartment for the first time in two years to really take in the question. A few things have changed, but it’s mostly the same apartment she’d lived in before leaving the city. This always felt like home to her, and she can feel those familiar feelings creeping back as soon as she steps in the door.

She’s surprised that Alex even invited her up here. Maybe it’s just out of habit.

Instead, she turns her attention towards Alex, who has unceremoniously dropped onto the couch. It’s almost like it’s normal for her to have Maggie in her apartment. Once Alex’s words finally sink in, it’s a surprise to her. Of course, Maggie had no idea about Kara and James, but she can feel the smile growing on her face regardless.

“No, you didn’t.” She watches Alex as she pulls off her boots, before relaxing back on the couch with a sigh. She seems less drunk and more tired now, her eyelids heavy. “When did they get back together?”

“A few months after you left.” Alex pauses, but doesn’t dwell on that thought for long. “They’re really happy. I’ve never seen Kara like this before.”

Maggie wasn’t around when Kara and James were together the first time, but with what Alex had told her about the relationship, she never understood why it ended. Then again, she hasn’t understood why a lot of things in _her_ life have ended either.

“ _Everyone’s_ happy.” Despite her words, Alex’s eyes have a vacant expression. “J’onn, Winn, Lena... they’ve all found someone. It’s... good.”

Maggie hesitates to ask the question, but it’s almost as if Alex is asking her to. The words slip past her lips before she has the chance to think about them. “And you?”

The first thing Maggie sees is Alex swallowing. “I was fine being the only one... before everything. When I only cared about work and protecting Kara. Now it’s just…” She sighs again, not even finishing her thought. “I don’t know.”

It’s not a direct answer to Maggie’s question, but it’s something. The last thing she would ever want is for Alex to be unhappy, _especially_ if she had something to do with it. Still, the entire situation confuses her, with Alex having broken up with _her_ . However, the time and distance has given Maggie perspective on _why_ she did it. It’s not something she could ever be angry at Alex for. Nobody has ever protected her the way Alex has, and it’s just in her nature to do so.

Maggie sighs softly. She wants to try and take a page out of Alex’s book. She wants to do what’s best for _her_ , not what’s best for herself. Does she deserve it? She’s not entirely sure just yet. But she’s going to do it anyway. “You know, we don’t have to do any of this. I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything. If you don’t want to see me, then it’s okay.”

It takes a moment for Alex to reply to her, but she’s still watching her. “I do want to see you. I’ve never… _not_ wanted to see you.”

Maggie knows the alcohol is fueling her words, and that there’s no way she’d be this brave sober. She appreciates the honesty, and she also appreciates that they can have a normal conversation about this. The pain from two years ago is still there, but it has never made Maggie do or say anything malicious towards Alex. She doesn’t see the point in hurting someone she loves, whether they’re together or not. She’s hurt enough people over the years.

It’s almost as if Alex realises what she’s said, because she ducks her head and shakes it. “I’m sorry.”

“No…” Maggie shakes her head in response. “I want you to be able to be honest with me.”

“Lying to you isn’t one of my strong suits.”

Maggie’s lips tilt upwards. “I know.”

“Tonight… could’ve been better.” Alex almost looks guilty, and that’s the last thing Maggie wants her to feel.

“I told you, we’ll have other chances.”

“Will we?”

Maggie thinks about it for a moment before shrugging. She doesn’t see why not. There’s no point in avoiding someone she knows so well and has no bad blood with anymore. There’s no doubt that Maggie is going to gravitate back to their old circle - it would be too strange to just outright _ignore_ Alex. “You put too much pressure on yourself as always, Danvers. That hasn’t changed.”

Maggie doesn’t miss the subtle twitch of Alex’s lips at the old nickname. “Yeah, yeah. You know me.”

Maggie can’t help but smile. Another habit of hers that she can’t seem to break in Alex’s presence. “I do.”

“Yeah.” Alex stifles a yawn. “Thanks for bringing me home, Maggie.”

“It’s nothing.” Maggie knows Alex would’ve done the same for her without a moment’s hesitation. “Are you going to be okay by yourself?”

Alex scoffs, and Maggie realises it’s a ridiculous question to ask. “This is just a normal Thursday for me, Sawyer.”

Maggie chuckles, looking at her fondly. “I’ll take your word for it.” Stretching her arms, she knows it’s best to leave now before the lines between them blur even further. She doesn’t even know why the thought comes to her, but with the two of them, there’s no telling. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

It’s a strange offer to make, but if this reunion has shown her anything, it’s that she’ll always do whatever Alex needs her to. It’s a trap she probably shouldn’t let herself be caught in, but what else does she have? She can’t help it that she cares about Alex, even after all this time.

Alex only nods, because they both know that she’s the last person to ask for any help. Still, Maggie’s going to offer, and Alex is going to do the same.

Maggie shuts the apartment door behind her, knowing this is already far more complicated than she needs it to be. However, she knows that deep down she’s not going to walk away from this. Alex has always managed to draw her in from the very beginning, and that doesn’t seem to be changing despite what has transpired previously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, more about the reason behind Alex and Maggie's break up will slowly be revealed throughout chapters. That's why it's a bit murky right now lmao.


	3. Two

Maggie rolls over the next morning, squinting as she finds a missed call and voicemail on her phone from Alex. At first she thinks she’s just having a very realistic dream, but then remembers that she actually _did_ take Alex home the night before. She did actually see her at the bar, drunk, and trying to communicate in a jumbled mess. She did step into their old apartment and get hit with a wave of nostalgia. She did linger too long in the doorway after saying goodnight, a tiny piece of her hoping that Alex will ask her to stay.

Even if Maggie didn’t know who it was leaving her messages, nobody else she knows is awake this early.

She sits up in bed, unlocking her phone and calling her voicemail. She can’t help the smile that appears on her face when she hears Alex’s voice.

“Hey, Maggie, it’s me. Listen, about last night… I’m really sorry. I know I said it then, but I figured I’d say it again when I’m actually sober.” She laughs. “I already told you that I didn’t want it to be that way, and I don’t. I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee before work and talk a bit. Let me know.”

Maggie rolls her eyes playfully as she hangs up her voicemail. She should’ve known it wouldn’t be long before she saw Alex again. She also should’ve known that she would fall back into old patterns almost instantly with her. She _wants_ to see her, and maybe that’s the part that worries her the most. Maggie knows it won’t take much for her to become attached to Alex again, and she wonders if she should even bother trying to guard her heart from it at all.

Still, her thoughts don’t stop her from getting out of bed and dressing herself for work. She decides she’ll grab breakfast with her coffee, and heads out the door without a second thought. On the way to her car, she texts confirmation to Alex, who sends back an address almost instantly. She recognises it - it’s not far from the DEO.

Once she arrives, Alex is, again, already waiting for her. However, this time, she looks apologetic, and is clearly much more sober. Alex stands up from her seat when Maggie walks in, and suddenly Maggie feels her heart rate pick up. It was easier last night when Alex was drunk, because she knew it didn’t have to be anything serious. They could drink and be light, and Alex wouldn’t have even known (or remembered) if Maggie was nervous. Now, she can see the seriousness in Alex’s eyes. Things are different.

“Hey.” The word melts in Alex’s mouth, and Maggie finds this is already a lot harder than she expected it to be. She can understand the urge to run, something she’s been very familiar with in the past. Still, her feet carry her to the table without a second thought, so clearly she’s losing this battle.

“Hi.” Maggie’s sure she can come up with something more intelligent than that. “You look better.”

A smile grows on Alex’s face. “Yeah, I feel better.” She pauses for a moment. “You know… it’s really good to see you. Last night, too, even if I was… a little nervous.”

“It’s good to see you too. Really.” Maggie doesn’t want Alex to think this is just a front, or that she’s doing this just out of obligation. She feels comfort in Alex’s presence and she always has. Despite her unease about whatever feelings still linger, she knows she can always rely on Alex to make her comfortable. Besides, after two years, Alex is the only person she’s managed to reconnect with outside of work so far.

There’s a brief moment where Alex looks relieved, but she quickly straightens herself out. “You want a coffee? You have the same order, right?”

Maggie only nods, because _of course_ Alex Danvers remembers her coffee order. It’s not like Maggie’s forgotten all the things Alex likes to eat and wear and do. It’s almost ridiculous just how much information Maggie has retained, and how many things instantly remind her of Alex.

Sitting down across from where Alex once was, she takes a deep breath. Sure, she was nervous last night, but now they’re both fully aware of their actions. This is the first time she’s properly seen Alex in two years. The first time she’s going to have a full conversation with her. She’s not sure what to expect, or even how much she’s changed over time.

It only takes a moment for Alex to return with their coffees, and lo and behold, it _is_ Maggie’s order. They were together for over a year, Maggie realises that it would be unusual for Alex to forget. Alex sits down across from her and all Maggie can feel is a weight lift off her shoulders. She didn’t realise how tense she’d felt, especially when last night was just a practice run for the real thing.

Alex is looking at her, and Maggie isn’t quite sure how to take it. She’s normally so bold in these situations, but it’s _Alex_. It’s Alex after two years and she isn’t sure how to act.

It’s then Maggie notices that Alex’s fingers are tapping the side of her mug. She’s nervous, too.

Still, it doesn’t stop her from looking up at Maggie with a gentle smile. “Now that I’ve got you here... you have no choice but to tell me how Gotham was.”

Maggie laughs lightly, ducking her head. “Okay, alright.” She looks to the side for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. “It was good. Things are different over there. There’s no Supergirl to save the day, though… Gotham has its fair share of vigilante wannabes running around.”

“Oh, I’m sure you loved that.” Alex gives her a knowing smile. Once again, Alex knows her better than most. “Apprehending vigilante types and reminding them that _you’re_ the law.”

“It was a change. There are less aliens over there, so my job was a little different.” Maggie would much rather be here, though. For a variety of different reasons.

“I assume you… asked for the transfer.”

Maggie looks at Alex, trying to give her a reassuring smile. “I did, yeah. When everything… ended, I was overwhelmed. Everything reminded me of you.” She pauses, wondering how deep she should get into this. “Still does, really.” She looks around the room, sure she could attribute any number of things to her time with Alex.

“I’m sorry.” The words leave Alex’s lips as if they’ve been rehearsed a thousand times.

Maggie shakes her head. It’s all water under the bridge now. Her feelings towards that day - burned into her mind - are different now, two years on.

“I’ve, uh…” Alex shifts uncomfortable in her seat. “I’ve been seeing someone. Kind of.” Alex half shrugs. “It’s on and off, for the most part, but I thought you should hear it from me.”

Oh. _Oh_. Maggie tries not to look surprised, because she really shouldn’t be. There’s absolutely no reason why Alex Danvers shouldn’t have a girlfriend. Or, a maybe-girlfriend.

It’s almost as if Alex knows what she’s thinking, because she quickly adds, “It’s nothing serious.”

Maggie scoffs lightheartedly. “It’s none of my business, Alex. You don’t owe me an explanation.” Tilting her head, she gives her a smile. Sure, it’s a shock, and it’s not like she wants to immediately meet the woman, but if Alex is happy then that’s all she can ask for. That’s all she’ll ever want for her. Still, she appreciates the heads up.

“I feel like I owe you a lot of things,” Alex answers, and it’s the most honest that she’s been since Maggie has been back.

Maggie shakes her head. “You don’t.”

“I hurt you.”

“And I’m not angry about that.” Maggie tilts her head, trying to seem sympathetic. “Not anymore.”

The answer seems to come as a shock to Alex, but Maggie can see she’s trying not to show it on her face. “You’re not?”

Maggie’s expression softens. “You were only ever trying to protect me. While it probably wasn’t necessary, I understand what you were trying to do.” She’d certainly thought about it enough to understand.

Alex’s face wavers for a brief moment. It’s like she had been expecting Maggie to be angry, even after all this time. Maggie has her own issues, but she’s pretty sure there’s nothing on Earth that could make her hate Alex. Or stay angry at her for over two years.

“And now… You know I just want you to be happy. Always.” Maggie gives her a slight nod, picking up her mug and taking a sip from it.

It’s so strange to be sitting here with Alex. In a bar, in a coffee shop, it truly is like no time has passed since they last saw each other. This still feels so normal to Maggie, except the two of them are going to leave in separate cars, and Alex won’t open the door to her apartment to have a beer handed to her by Maggie. Everything has changed, and yet the feeling of being with Alex is still exactly the same.

“I’m not, uh…” Maggie looks away, trying to navigate the conversation. “I haven’t seen anyone. Not seriously, anyway.”

Alex looks at her curiously. “For two years?”

Maggie shrugs, immediately feeling embarrassed by the question. “It just never felt right.” She really shouldn’t have brought it up to begin with. She knows it’s not appropriate given the circumstances.

“Maggie…”

Maggie doesn’t want to look at Alex and see the pity in her eyes, so she doesn’t. “It’s okay. It is.”

It’s not okay, and she regrets saying it. It seems that Alex picks up on that, because, thankfully, she’s quick to change the subject. “Well… How are you? Healthwise?”

It’s just another thing to knock Maggie off her feet. Of course, she knows that Alex cares about her wellbeing after everything that happened, but even after two years? Her mind is still reeling from it all.

“I’m okay. Really.” Maggie gives her a soft nod.

“You almost died, Maggie.”

“Except I didn’t.” Maggie knows this is the same argument they had two years ago, but they’re both different people now. The situation is a lot less urgent, and Maggie is no longer in any danger.

“Yeah… Yeah, I know.” Alex shakes her head. “I still think about that day all the time.”

“Unlucky for you.” Maggie gives her a teasing smile. “I don’t remember any of it.”

“I’ve never been so scared of anything before.” Alex chuckles weakly, like it’s something funny that they can laugh about now, even though it’s still far from it.

“Yeah, I know.” Reaching over, she places a hand on Alex’s arm, like she had the night before. It’s more of a reflex than anything else, but Alex doesn’t shy away from it this time. “I’m better, though. You know that. You kept me safe as best you could, and I’m still here.”

Alex avoids her gaze the moment the final sentence leaves Maggie’s lips. There’s only a brief moment where she wonders if Alex regrets it all. Regrets the decision to break her heart solely for protection. The two of them loved each other. Fiercely. There was no closure, and it certainly didn’t go away on Maggie's end. She tries not to hope for the same on Alex’s.

“Do you, um… still have doctor’s appointments?”

“Not regularly.” Maggie shakes her head. “Just check ups.”

Alex nods, seeming relieved. “That’s good.”

A smile grows on Maggie’s face in an attempt to lighten the mood. “You really want to get your hands on my medical records, huh?”

Alex laughs, ducking her head. “Look, it’s not that I don’t trust your doctors, but it was an alien attack. I know aliens.”

“The DEO did a good job at _not_ making it seem like one.” Maggie smiles. “Really, Alex, you have nothing to worry about. I’m good.”

Alex is looking at her the way she used to, and it’s making Maggie uneasy. She doesn’t know what the rules are anymore. Is she going to allow Alex to look at her like that? Despite the fact that she broke up with her and is now maybe-dating someone else? She’s not used to actually _seeing_ her exes again after they inevitably dump her. It just doesn’t happen. That one time with Emily on the street was just a one-off.

“I should… probably get to work.” Alex checks her watch, before looking up and giving Maggie an apologetic smile. “There’s an operation at the DEO today and they need a tactical team ready.”

Maggie doesn’t want her to be sorry, since she probably needs about three days just to process everything she’s just heard from Alex. This is all so confusing for her, and she would love to pick Alex’s brain about it, despite how inappropriate that may be.

“Go.” Maggie composes herself with a smile, waving her off with her hand. “Go save the world, Danvers.”

“You, too, detective.” Alex smiles knowingly, getting up out of her seat and giving Maggie a quick wave before she’s gone.

\------

Alex uses work as a good distraction, and Kara invites her over that night so she doesn’t have to be alone. Alex knows it’s because she wants to hear every single detail of her morning coffee with Maggie, and Alex is happy to oblige, because she really does need another person’s perspective. Normally she wouldn’t want to talk about it, and just drink away her sorrows, but she’s almost bursting to ramble on about it. She knows if she tells Winn, he’ll just jump up and down and offer some completely useless advice. At least Kara already knows that Maggie is back in town.

“Wait… you told her about Amy? Why would you do that?”

“I didn’t want to lie to her, Kara! And the last thing I want is her seeing me out with someone else before I tell her.” Alex takes a comically long sip from her wine glass. She can’t stop the tugging in her heart - the one thing that’s telling her she still owes Maggie so much. So many explanations that she has that Maggie may want. She left her at her most vulnerable, and Alex feels like there’s no real way to repair that damage.

“Did you tell her that your on-off relationship is currently off?” Kara asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No. I didn’t see how it would make a difference.” Alex throws her free hand up in the air. It irritates her to no end that she can’t seem to get any relationship right post-Maggie. With Amy, things just didn’t seem to be going her way. Nothing fits together like it did with Maggie. Maybe things _would_ fit if she stopped comparing every woman she came across to Maggie.

“It makes a _huge_ difference!” Kara pulls her legs up on the couch, tucking them underneath her body. She grabs a pillow and wraps her arms around it in her lap. “You and Maggie could have another shot! Isn’t that something you want?”

Alex scoffs. “She doesn’t want me, Kara. We’ve been over this. A lot, actually.” She takes another sip of her wine until the glass is empty. She grabs the bottle from the coffee table, pouring herself another almost-full glass.

“She loves you, Alex. It’s written all over her face. At least, it was when I saw her.” Kara gives her a pointed look. “And trust me… you’re not going to spend the rest of your life with Amy.”

Alex furrows her brows, suddenly feeling offended. “How do you know that?”

“Because you don’t _want_ to.” Kara’s eyes soften. “If you did, you wouldn’t currently be sitting on my couch talking to me about your ex-girlfriend.”

Alex really hates when Kara is right. Sure, she’s technically the little sister, so it’s rare, but Alex still hates it. “She just wants too much, too fast. She wants to be completely involved in my life and _your_ life and she’ll never _get it_. Not with my job and, God, _your job_.” She shakes her head. There’s no way she could ever tell Amy that Kara is Supergirl. That would be a disaster waiting to happen. “She’s just not-”

“She’s not Maggie,” Kara finishes for her. It’s not what she was going to say, but she’ll admit that it’s pretty much what she was thinking. She looks at Alex in silence for a long moment before adjusting her position again. “Well, I say you should go for it. With Maggie, I mean.”

“She hasn’t had a serious relationship in two years, Kara. _I_ did that. _I’m_ the one who broke her.” And Alex has felt a heaviness in the pit of her stomach ever since Maggie told her that fact. She doesn’t want to be the reason Maggie is unhappy anymore. If getting out of her life for good achieves that, then she’ll do it. In a heartbeat. She doesn’t know if pursuing her will only make things worse for her again.

Kara shrugs. “Just because you broke something, doesn’t mean you can’t fix it.”

Alex looks down at her lap, fiddling with her hands. She’s trying not to get too emotional about this, and she hasn’t had _nearly_ enough wine for this conversation. It takes her a minute, but she looks back up at Kara, taking a deep breath. “I still love her.”

Kara reaches over, placing a hand on her sister’s arm. “I know you do. I think you always will.” The words crawl deep under Alex’s skin, because she knows they’re true. “Did you… make a plan to see each other again?”

Alex shakes her head.

“But you still have her number, right?”

Alex nods.

“You should give her a call.” Kara says, as if she’s already decided for Alex.

Alex isn’t really sure what she expected, considering she _did_ come here for advice in the first place. She just wasn’t expecting that advice to be so… full on. She shakes her head at Kara. “Whatever I do, I can’t just rush into it.” It’s just too fragile with Maggie right now. “And things with Amy aren’t… _finished_. It’s just too complicated right now. It’s not a good time.”

Kara nods her head, accepting. “Okay, well… maybe we can figure out a way to hang out in a group setting. Maybe that will help? Maggie was friends with Winn and James and everyone, she’ll probably want to see them again, too.”

Alex sighs. “Why do I get the feeling that you’re about to meddle in something you really should be staying out of?”

Kara gives her an innocent look before shrugging. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”


	4. Three

It doesn’t take long for Maggie’s life to slowly be consumed by the Danvers sisters once again. She shouldn’t be too surprised, really, especially with Kara’s penchant to not let things go. Still, it’s not exactly a bad thing to have some familiar faces in her life again. She’s missed them both, and she’d like to think they don’t have to go through their lives ignoring one another.

Despite that, this is unexplored territory for Maggie. She doesn’t exactly keep in contact with any of her exes, especially ones that last as long as Alex. Sure, she made amends with Emily due to Alex’s pushing, but it’s not like Maggie talks to her every week. This is the first time she’s had to deal with these emotions on a regular basis.

If she’s being honest, Emily didn’t sound all that surprised when she mentioned that Alex had broken up with her. Emily always had a bit of a resentful streak. Maggie doesn’t hold it against her.

It’s less than a week later that Kara invites her to a ‘gathering’ at her apartment on Friday night. Maggie has always found that the word ‘gathering’ leads to something that is a lot larger than a gathering, but she texts her confirmation anyway. No doubt Alex will be there as a part of Kara’s master plan to get them in the same room together (likely with lots of alcohol), but Maggie is looking forward to another opportunity to catch up.

She knows how dangerous it is to lean into her feelings like this, but Alex makes it so easy. Easier than it could possibly be with anyone else. And she really wants easy after everything she’s been through. She wants something simple, something that feels like home. She has no idea if she and Alex will ever rekindle their relationship, but Maggie enjoys the solace she feels just by being in her presence. Just seeing Alex smile because Maggie walks into the room is enough for her.

However, it’s not just about Alex anymore. On the Wednesday night before Kara’s get together, Winn invites her out to the alien bar. She’s a little apprehensive, to say the least. If people like Winn and Kara could tell her exactly who was going to be at these little ‘gatherings’, maybe her nerves would be eased slightly.

She feels somewhat lighter when she enters the bar that night and sees it’s just most of the usual gang - Winn, James, M’gann behind the bar. She’s also surprised to see Lena there, _not_ wearing stilettos and a pencil skirt for once, and sitting with a brunette Maggie has never seen before.

Winn and James react the most positively when they spot Maggie. They both hop out of their seats and offer Maggie a hug. Winn is a little hesitant, mostly due to the fact that they were never _really_ close. Maggie and James had been known to play a round of pool together, or head to the gym for a boxing session from time to time. Still, Maggie’s heart feels whole again, like she never left National City with it broken, and she embraces Winn happily.

She finds it easier to be free like this when Alex isn’t around. She hopes that can change as time goes on.

M’gann heads over to the table and Maggie greets her warmly. She’s known her longer than anyone else in the room, and she’s listened to one too many of Maggie’s drunken ramblings after her many break ups in the past. She’s also the only one who can manage to make Maggie’s peach mojitos just the way she likes them.

Once she approaches the table, she notices that both Lena and the mystery brunette are standing to greet her as well. The only real memory Maggie has of Lena is when she arrested her that one time. Clearly, a lot has changed since then.

“It’s good to see you again, Detective Sawyer.”

Maggie’s eyebrows crinkle almost in amusement. “Uh. Maggie, please.”

Lena smiles in resignation, gesturing to the woman standing beside her. “This is Samantha, my girlfriend.”

The tall woman turns to Lena with a playful frown before facing Maggie again. “It’s _Sam_. I’ve heard a lot about the famous Maggie Sawyer.”

Maggie takes her outstretched hand and shakes it, wondering how Alex managed to forget to tell her that Lena Luthor is not only dating a woman, but one who is tall and very beautiful. Also, she’s now absentmindedly wondering just how much Sam _has_ heard about her.

Winn slides a fresh beer over in her direction with a knowing smile. “There’s a lot you’ve missed, Sawyer.”

Maggie looks between Lena and Sam. “I can tell.”

She’s about to ask where they met, or just any information she can possibly get about this surprising development, but Lena beats her to it. “I’ve known Sam for a long time. She works at L-Corp.”

James tilts his beer towards Sam. “Sam bagged the boss.”

Lena laughs lightly. Maggie notices both Lena and Sam are drinking the same wine. “Oh, yes. I also bought CatCo, so I’m just about everyone’s boss now, I suppose.”

“So, you…” Maggie turns towards James and Winn. “Do they know…?”

“That Kara is Supergirl?” Lena finished casually. “Yet another debacle with Cadmus and my mother brought _that_ particular detail to light. L-Corp has been working with the DEO for a while now.”

Maggie has never seen Lena Luthor this relaxed before, and it’s almost unnerving. “Right. I heard that Cadmus went underground again.”

Winn nods. “It’s much harder to track them now, but we’ve had our hands full with other things lately anyway.” He nudges Maggie in the side. “But we’ve got you back on the force now. I guess we can continue our relations with the NCPD.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Maggie can see Sam rolling her eyes. “Okay, that’s enough work talk for one night. I came here to relax, and to drink.”

Maggie likes her already. Lena smiles at Sam, placing a hand on her arm. Maggie didn’t realise just how much seeing two other women happy and in love, especially in this group, would make her think about Alex again. She tries not to dwell on it for the moment, turning her attention back to James.

“Well, I heard _someone’s_ getting married.” Maggie lifts her beer with a warm smile. “So, congratulations.”

James grins while the rest of the table reacts excitedly. “I didn’t realise Kara had told you, but thanks.”

“Actually, I heard it from Alex the other night.”

The words slip out before she has a moment to think about them. She knows how it sounds, so it’s no surprise that everyone at the table turns to look at her. She really hoped that her relationship with Alex wouldn’t be the centre of attention tonight.

Winn’s the first to speak. “The other night…?”

Maggie rolls her eyes. “It wasn’t like that. She was drunk, I drove her home.”

“You have been back in town for five minutes and you and Alex are already getting busy.” Winn shakes his head, sipping at his beer again. “I wish I had that kind of game.”

“Nobody’s _getting busy_ , Winn. We’ve seen each other a couple of times.”

James shrugs. “Yeah, I don’t know, man, what with Amy and everything-”

 _Amy_. So, that’s the name of Alex’s mystery girl. Maggie feels an instant pang of curiosity, and a part of her wants to know more.

Winn gives James an incredulous look. “Really, dude? You’re really gonna bring up Amy in front of Maggie?”

Maggie smiles gently. “It’s okay, Alex told me about her.” She feels awkward just talking about it. Partially because Alex _is_ her ex-girlfriend, and partially because it’s really not her place. She feels weird talking about Amy behind Alex’s back.

“I wouldn’t worry about it.” Winn shrugs easily. “I mean… Amy’s nice and everything, but she’s a lawyer, and she doesn’t know about Kara, and she probably _can’t_ know without breaching some kind of rule. Besides, things have been a little… shaky with them.”

Maggie makes sure to store the ‘lawyer’ fact away for later, but she gives Winn a tight smile. “It’s okay, Winn. Really. Alex… deserves to be happy. It’s not my business who she’s with.” She feels uncomfortable elaborating further in front of Lena and Sam. Actually, she feels uncomfortable elaborating at all. Maggie Sawyer isn’t exactly the type to share her feelings to a group of people, no matter how close they are.

Sam promptly changes the subject, much to Maggie’s relief. “So you’re coming to Kara’s game night, right?”

So, it’s a game night. They still do that, apparently.

Maggie nods. “Yeah, I should be. Unless an alien decides to attack the city at the last minute.”

“Oh, no, no no.” Winn shakes his head. “No alien attacks will be able to get you out of this one, Sawyer. It’ll be all of us plus M’gann, J’onn, Kara and Alex. You have nothing to worry about.”

Truth be told, it sounds like if an alien attack _were_ to take place, just about all of them would have to leave the party anyway. And these days, ‘nothing to worry about’ and ‘Alex’ don’t really go in the same sentence for her.

\------

Alex paces near Kara’s front door for the better part of an hour. Every time someone knocks on the door, she jumps slightly, only to be let down when it’s Winn or Lena or J’onn. Maggie arrives a little later than everyone else, and Alex has this picture in her head of her sitting in her car, psyching herself up to actually come inside.

Of course, when she hears the knock, Alex is immediately at the door. Everyone else has settled down further into the apartment at this point, so it gives the two of them a moment to themselves.

Maggie’s wearing her signature leather jacket, and Alex feels her chest flutter. It’s been that way ever since Maggie walked back into her life. Part of her wants to squash the feeling, deep down where she can never find it again, because she knows she can’t let it mean anything. On the other hand, she welcomes it like an old friend. It's warm and familiar.

Maggie’s carrying a bottle of their favourite scotch, which Alex can only smile at, as she gestures towards the kitchen counter where an identical bottle that she brought herself sits.

“Great minds think alike,” Maggie tells her with a smile as Alex invites her in. The others are too busy laughing about something to notice she’s walked in, so Alex stays by the counter with her as she takes off her jacket.

“I’m sorry Kara dragged you to this. If I’d known, I would’ve warned you in advance. Or, at least, come up with some excuse for you.”

Maggie’s returning smile is so warm that it somehow manages to fill Alex’s entire body. “It’s okay, Alex. There are worse people to spend a Friday night with.”

She unscrews the cap off her bottle and grabs two glasses. Maggie’s been here a thousand times, so it’s no surprise that she remembers where everything is. She pours them both a glass before tilting hers towards Alex’s.

“Cheers,” Alex murmurs, watching Maggie’s mouth as she brings her glass to her lips.

Alex wonders if the room has suddenly gotten a little warmer, or if it's just her.

Knowing they can’t stay hidden over there forever, they join the rest of the group. It’s no surprise that Maggie receives such a warm welcome. Even Kara (eventually) approved of her when she and Alex were dating last time. Even J’onn, who is probably the hardest nut to crack, took to her like another daughter.

Once she and Maggie get settled in the living area, Kara stands up and claps her hands. “Okay! So, game night rules are officially in place. Everyone knows how it works, we partner up as usual. Since there’s an odd number of us tonight, James and I will share Winn.”

Winn places both hands over his chest dramatically with a faux smile of gratitude. Alex looks around the room and forces herself not to roll her eyes at her sister. She’s brought Amy to a couple of these, but the group is forced to watch what they say, so it’s not really work it. Not to mention, the last time she was here, a huge fight broke out between herself and Amy.

Having said that, Alex has completely forgotten she doesn’t have a partner, and she knows that Lena and Sam and J’onn and M’gann are already locked in.

Maggie seems to have figured it out, too, because she leans over and murmurs in Alex’s ear, “You okay with this?”

Alex turns towards her. “Are _you_?”

Maggie shrugs easily, taking another sip from her glass. Alex can see, though, that her lips are slightly turned upwards.

No offence to Winn, but Alex would much rather have Maggie as a game night partner.

\------

Alex and Maggie completely wipe the floor with everyone else.

Alex shouldn’t be surprised, really, they’re too in tune with each other for their own good. Charades is particularly amusing, with the two of them getting at least double the score that everyone else got. Winn and Kara are a particularly hopeless team, but Lena and Sam work surprisingly well together. However, there’s no real competition, and the two of them are laughing like not a single thing has changed between them.

Considering some of these couples have been together twice as long as Alex and Maggie were, she’d say they’re doing pretty well.

It gets hot and exhausting pretty quickly, and Maggie excuses herself to go browse their quickly depleting alcohol stash. While everyone else is laughing and carrying on, Alex takes a moment to slip away, too.

Slowly moving towards Maggie, Alex leans against the counter beside her. The alcohol is making her feel relaxed, and like she doesn’t have anything to prove to Maggie right now. For tonight, she can just be herself and have a good time.

“You okay?” Maggie asks with a quirk of her eyebrow. “Don’t smile too hard.”

Alex’s face breaks out into a grin and she tries to hide it by ducking her head. “I’m just… feeling really good right now. It’s been a while since I’ve felt… you know.”

“Game night domination will do that to you,” Maggie teases.

“It’s not just that.”

Maggie looks at her, and Alex looks back. It’s silent for a moment, only the sounds of intermittent chatter and laughter behind them. Alex’s heart rate picks up. Being almost alone with her like this probably isn’t wise, but she’s never been completely rational when it comes to Maggie.

“It’s good to have you here.” Alex nods, trying to sound as sincere as possible, because she really does mean it. Just having her in her life again is a blessing Alex didn’t think she’d ever receive or deserve. When someone moves to a new city in order to get away from you, there’s a good chance you won’t see them ever again. But Maggie’s back, and Alex doesn’t want to disrupt her life any more than she already has.

Still, she is only human.

Alex drops her gaze, noticing Maggie’s hand resting on the counter. Just the idea of touching her skin is inviting. Slowly, her hand slides over, her fingertips just barely brushing Maggie’s fingers. “I’ve missed you, Maggie.”

Maggie doesn’t pull away. In fact, her eyes never leave Alex’s. She lets out a soft breath, but Alex can tell it’s shaky. “Alex…”

Alex isn’t used to being in control like this. To have any kind of power over Maggie, even if only a little. Normally it’s Maggie making her weak at the knees and unable to breathe properly. Her hand slides a little closer, her fingers stroking the back of Maggie’s confidently. Maggie bites her lip. Alex wants more.

At first she doesn’t notice, but somehow, they’ve gravitated closer towards each other. Being this close again, Alex can feel it. The familiar electricity that snaps them back together every time. The kind of feeling she’s never felt with anyone else and if she’s being honest, she had been afraid previously that it may have gone away after all this time apart. Now she knows it certainly hasn’t.

“Have you… missed me?” It’s the first whisper of vulnerability Alex has shown, and she’s pretty pleased with herself for holding herself together for this long. Still, there’s only so much she can do when Maggie is standing right in front of her.

“Always,” Maggie murmurs, and her answer surprises Alex. All that beer and scotch and wine was always going to come back and bite them both in the ass. Still, the words make Alex’s heart leap. It’s a scenario she’s imagined a million times in her head. Maggie returns, Maggie misses her, she kisses Maggie, and everything’s okay again. “Every day. But… you know.”

“I know.” The words leave Alex’s lips before she can stop them. Despite the amount of alcohol she’s consumed, Alex still remembers the reason for their break up as clear as day. Trust her, she’s tried to use alcohol to forget it many times over the past two years. Seeing Maggie lying on the ground, in a pool of her own blood, struggling to breathe, dying in her arms. It’s something that haunts her even now.

Alex doesn’t notice it at first, but her eyes begin to well up.

“Hey.” Alex is sure it’s the softest voice she’s ever heard. Maggie steps forward, their bodies almost touching. The fact that she knows exactly what Alex is thinking about comforts her to no end. She knows her better than anyone else ever has. “Don’t think about that. I’m right here.” Reaching up, she swiftly wipes a tear from Alex’s cheek with her thumb.

Alex reaches for Maggie’s waist, and Maggie looks up. For a brief moment, it almost happens. She almost kisses her. Hard. Nobody else in the room would matter. She could just kiss her and she would feel whole again. After two years of feeling like she’s being torn apart. She would let out every emotion she’s ever felt for Maggie. Except, she doesn’t, and instead, she removes her hand from Maggie’s side.

It takes a moment for either of them to speak, and Alex is still thinking about Maggie’s lips.

“I need some air. I’ll be back,” Maggie assures her with a quick nod, and in just a few seconds, she’s gone, leaving Alex to stand there alone with her heart racing.

\------

As the night goes on, Maggie’s definitely had too much to drink, and she’s starting to wonder if she conjured up her interactions with Alex in her head. Except, she knows she hasn’t, because Alex keeps stealing glances at her from across the room. There isn’t much stopping Maggie from just excusing the both of them and dragging Alex out into the hallway.

It’s much like the first night when Maggie met up with her at the bar - she’s clearly intoxicated and has a lot more nerve than she will when she’s sober the next day. Maggie’s almost glad they’re in a room full of other people, because she’s not sure if she can handle the lines being blurred any further than they already have been tonight.

She knows, that if there weren’t other people in the room, she would’ve let Alex kiss her. And God knows what else. At this point, she doesn’t even want to stop her.

At first, Maggie doesn’t even notice Kara sidle up next to her holding a glass of what looks like wine. She’s not sure why she’s drinking it when she can’t even get drunk off of normal alcohol, but then again, J’onn _did_ bring over a bottle of something purple from the alien bar. Something that’ll either kill a human, or at least skip being drunk and go straight for the hangover.

“Listen, I know this might be weird for you…” Kara bites her lip, as if she’s nervous to continue. “But James and I were talking… and we think it’d be really great if you came to the wedding. If you want to, of course.”

If Maggie’s being honest, she didn’t expect this whatsoever. She figured it was far too late to be handing out last-minute invitations to friends from the past. Especially when those friends happened to be the bride’s sister’s ex-girlfriend. After everything that had happened with Alex just in the last few hours, she feels overwhelmed. She’s in too deep with Alex, despite time and distance. She’s not sure how they’d cope together at something so… intimate.

Not to mention, Maggie has a feeling this is more of Kara’s meddling, but who is she to say ‘no’ to a bride? This isn’t about Alex at all.

“Wow, Kara…” The surprise on her face is evident as she shakes her head. “If you want me there, I mean… I’d love to come. As long as it’s okay.” Her eyes travel over to where Alex is sitting on the couch.

Kara’s eyes follow Maggie’s. “You and Alex are adults.” Maggie almost snorts. They may need a refresher course on that front. “And you’ve made it pretty clear you can be in the same room with each other. I’m not worried that you two will ruin my wedding.” She laughs lightly.

Maggie smiles, thinking back to their domination earlier in the evening. One thing Alex and Maggie had never done together was attend a wedding. Not that they’d be together in this instance either, but it’s a special occasion that Maggie would enjoy being a part of.

“Maybe you should make sure she’s okay with it anyway. Just in case.” Maggie gives Kara a kind smile. “If she’s good, then I’m good.”

Kara nods, lingering beside her as if she wants to say something else. She seems apprehensive, and Maggie can tell why once she opens her mouth. “Alex was the happiest she’s ever been when she was with you.”

Maggie doesn’t know what to say, so she just keeps quiet.

“I don’t want you to think I’m forcing anything on you. I’ve just… I saw the way you were together tonight. Like nothing’s changed in two years.” Even though Maggie isn’t looking at her, she can tell Kara is smiling. “I just don’t want you to give up on something that’s clearly still there.”

Maggie’s not too sure when Kara became so wise about love-related issues, but her words do stick with Maggie. She knows there’s still something there, because she’s been feeling it ever since she left two years ago. It’s only amplified since she’s been back with Alex, especially being as close as she was with her tonight. It’s so easy for Maggie to just fall back into a state of familiarity with her. It’s safe, which is something Maggie has been chasing for years, but still isn’t used to feeling.

“Anyway, it’s not really my place, I just…” Kara sighs. “I want to see my sister happy. The way I’m happy. And the only time I’ve ever seen her like that is when she’s with you.”

Maggie would like to think she knows Alex pretty well, but outside of that, nobody comes closer than Kara. There’s a piece of her that desperately wants to believe Kara’s words because if anyone knew the truth, it would be Kara. She assumes they still have a close relationship and tell each other everything. Just what has Alex said to Kara about her?

“And… we really wouldn’t mind having you in the family again.” Maggie turns to see Kara smiling kindly. “We’ve missed you, Maggie.”

Maggie doesn’t really know how to react, just because she’s never _had_ a family before. To inherit a close knit family with the love of her life is something fourteen year old Maggie, standing out in the snow with her belongings packed in a bag, could only dream about.

Maggie gives Kara a smile, because she figures she should at least acknowledge her words. “Thanks, Kara.”

It’s clear to her that Kara is simply trying to move the right pieces into place for her and Alex. It’s nice to know there’s someone rooting for her happiness, as well as Alex’s. It’s just unfortunate that the situation is so complicated that she’s not even sure if Kara’s meddling can help save it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for Reigncorp. Sue me.


End file.
